Doing It Scared

I decided to live out my dream! And, I am freaking out! So while I am in the journey of transitioning, I thought the smartest thing for me to do was to blog about my feelings. It's all for selfish gain, because my dream is to write. Although, I have a long way to grow...

My personality cannot be summed up with a few words, so I hope if you're interested in my life you will begin to understand the person that I am by taking an interest in my creative outlet. But, for those who want a clue, here's a hint...

I consider myself to be pretty average. Maybe I am a little too tall, but I have average looks, average body, an average brain; but I want to live in the extraordinary. I have always had this fear of tomorrow. The "what if" syndrome. I learn quickly and I love to be challenged, but you won't see me volunteering to take take the lead. If someone forces me to take charge that's a different story. I will succeed - in the best way I know how. But you have to give me a deadline. Even writing this blog is a challenge for me, because although I believe I can do anything, given the opportunity, I am lazy. Or I procrastinate - whichever sounds more forgiving.

When I say I consider myself to be average, I would hope that is not what I'm perceived as. My life's theory is the belief that in order to be a world changer, you have to see the world. So, I've been wondering (ever since I lost my job), what am I doing? Where is my life going? When I was so super young I always thought I was too old. Now that I am older, I can kick myself for letting my dream lay dormant for so many years.

I have no formal training in writing and never found the time to go back to school. My job (that I recently lost), was too demanding and the years just slipped on by. I was helping fulfill my boss's dream, when this same boss told me that my dream was nothing but a mere hobby. Even with his negative words and his hope deficiency for my success,  I accepted the challenge to create written content for the company.  It was something that I enjoyed, but being a small business I wasn't able to solely focus on one facet. I was stretched too thin. My job title changed at minimum of 7 times and I inherited a mountain full of  responsibilities within the four years of working with the company. With each "promotion" it just meant more work for the same pay. Don't get me wrong, although overwhelming,  I love learning and I love being needed. So I kept telling myself "promotion comes from the Lord," therefore I knew I couldn't fail. I didn't have a choice, I had to succeed.

So, I am looking at my jobless situation as a promotion. For my next chapter I will be leaving Florida to relocate to West where the pond is an ocean. I am jumping with both feet in; I am doing it scared. Because I have the second chance to catch my dream I am reaching beyond the stars. I am putting myself out there to change the world.