My dating life lacks luster, but in friendships I run the gambit on successful. So obviously people like to be around me. To be transparent, I always assumed it was something in my meism that dudes didn't find attractive. However, when you have girlfriends who are considered a dime, and they too find the dating world as a joke, it makes you realize there is more to being single lady than lacking in the looks, figure, or personality department. Men, {I am generalizing, so read this with a grain of salt} consider us females as "options". We are consider props and tools of enjoyment, rather than a life's partner that they can "ride or die" with. We women are taught, "don't worry, it's not you...it's the guy. But, you might want to wear a shorter skirt, and show some cleavage if you want to be noticed. When they are ready to settle down, they will settle down." With that encouraging piece of advice, we hope that we are the lucky ones that guys are bored enough to chose. Likened to Christianity, it's the man that finds a wife who finds a good thing. So ladies be ready with your oil, so you don't get overlooked.
But how do you know if you are the one men sow their wild oats with, or if you are the "lucky" person at the right time because they don't want to end up alone? Seriously! Our options SUCK!!!!
As I get older and more confident in my skin, I find that I am becoming torn. Do I want that everlasting love? Do I believe in everlasting love? Does everlasting love exist? I received a text from one of my dearest sister-friends (whom is a dime) who pinpoints EXACTLY what a lot of us single women go through with dating. It would be an injustice if I didn't share her feelings to those of us who understand completely, that the struggle is real!
FRIEND: "I have a little rant on dating. -- I don't know if I think there's a "one" anymore. I think it's a timing thing. Especially in major cities. I think men finally get married when they start to get old and lose there attractiveness or whatever woman will is willing to put up with years and years of the shit they put them through. It's almost like a "hey, I guess I owe you for fucking up the best years of your life"
We watch love stories and we think we're missing something and I question myself sometimes because I haven't met the one! Does it make me incomplete!? No! Those movies are lies!!!! LIES! I would rather my daughter watch a scary movie about a crazy person then a fucking love story! Cause that shit is more real!! And more likely to happen then finding a decent guy! Dating is stupid! Oh! And then there's the guys in the late 30's that hook up with 22 year olds!! Gross!! Their cocks only get medium hard and we have to compete for that! Arg! I'm gonna be single forever!! I would rather that than settle for what is considered dating these days. Oh!! And if you're not gonna call me don't watch my gd fucking snap!!"
ME: ...the way you feel is how many of us feel. It's exhausting trying, trusting and believing for a 'husband'. No matter the age, it's a struggle. That is depressing when you see worthy people who are beautiful inside and out live the struggle of trying to find love. ForGET true love, at this point...someone we like.
FRIEND: I'll just settle for someone I actually like at this point...
This is where a lot of us are. Beautiful, deserving, kind, educated and alone. Have we been spoon feed a fairy tale. Or has time changed so drastically so that if you pass the age of 30 you might as well give up on finding love. Although I still believe in happy endings, does it HAVE to include a guy? None of us wants to end up alone, but here I sit in my bed on a Saturday night blogging. Don't get me wrong, I still believe "a man that finds a wife, find a good thing" but maybe that scripture is more for the men than for us woman.
God, please prove me wrong #amen
